This
morning I told my mom and Jason that I was up all night with
a headache and stomach ache and asked if I could stay home
from school today. Mommy took my temperature and said it was
100.4, so she gave me some Children's Tylenol and I stayed
home.
Things
were pretty normal for being home sick. I slept off and on
most of the day, I watched some television in my room. I didn't
really feel very much like listening to my favorite CDs on
my new CD player. I like the Dixie Chicks, though. I didn't
play with Mikenna, my baby sister, either. My head hurt and
so did my tummy. My mom and Jason said I have the flu.
I had some more Children's Tylenol before I was tucked into
bed for the night around 8:30 pm. I woke up around 11 and
went to the bathroom. I still felt pretty bad, but mommy and
Jason said to try to get some sleep and maybe I would feel
better in the morning.
After
I went back to sleep, an Angel came into my dream and picked
me up in her arms. My head and tummy stopped hurting. We floated
away to a beautiful garden where we played and sang and had
a wonderful time.
There
were lots of other children of all colors and ages. It was
like a rainbow of kids. My Angel, Elizabeth, told me stories
about Jesus and about Heaven. She told me all about my grandpa
Mike and many other people who loved me that I didn't remember
ever meeting.
When
she began to speak of my Grandpa Mike, I saw him in the distance,
walking happily towards us on a flower-lined path in the garden.
Elizabeth's voice was soft and sweet and she smelled like
the Lilacs that were blooming in the garden. As she spoke,
Grandpa Mike came closer and closer into view up the path
until finally he reached the spot where Elizabeth and I were
sitting. He smiled at me, took my hand in his, and sat down
beside me and Elizabeth. Together we listened to her stories
as we enjoyed the serenity of the wonderful garden. Grandpa
Mike had twinkling eyes and a smile that I recognized in an
instant. They were just like my Mommy's.
I
couldn't see Elizabeth's wings, but I knew they were there.
She was very beautiful, wearing robes that were a soft color
of green I had never seen before. Her hair was long and flowing
like her robes. Curly, like my Mom's, but it had a shine to
it that framed her face with a soft light. Her smile warmed
my heart and gave me incredible peace. In the garden were
all kinds of pets, and many other Angels and children.
Over
by a waterfall, sitting on a big boulder, was Jesus, who was
telling stories to all the kids around him. He was holding
a little girl with a puppy on his lap, and he nodded to me
and smiled. I felt him hug me, but I saw him across the garden..
"How did he do that?" I wondered. Everyone was having
such a wonderful time. This garden was a perfect place. Everyone
was just plain happy. Time didn't exist the way we know it
on earth. Elizabeth said the garden was a resting place between
Heaven and Earth, and it was there especially for children.
My
body was back on earth and was very sick, Elizabeth explained,
so she had taken me out of it for a while so I would not feel
any pain. I didn't even know what was happening to it at the
time. By then, that little 8 year old body of mine had been
taken in an ambulance to the same hospital where Mikenna had
been when she was so sick right after she was born. That Alexis
was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires and machines,
but I wasn't in that body. I was here in the Garden.
The
doctors and nurses at the hospital were giving me all kinds
of medicine to try to heal my body, but they didn't know what
was wrong with it, so nothing was working. My Mom and Jason
were there right by my side, and they were being very strong
for me, and for each other. Someone who loved me was with
me all the time while I was in the hospital, but I didn't
hear the things they said to me until later because I was
in the garden listening to Elizabeth tell her stories.
All
the words that are ever spoken to you on earth have a way
of reaching you, though, and I heard them all later. Anything
you say goes out into space and just keeps on echoing forever
so the people who need to hear it will. And they can hear
the nicest things over and over if they want to. Elizabeth
said that I would be with her and my Grandpa Mike until it
was determined whether I would go back into my body, or go
back home to Heaven with God.
Elizabeth
was very comforting and I loved her very much. We stayed in
the beautiful garden for two Earth days and then she told
me God had summoned me. We floated together, me, Elizabeth
and Grandpa Mike, into a beautiful golden tunnel where there
were other people I knew and loved. There was a bright light
at the other end. The people I met in the tunnel were the
people the Angel had been telling me about, and I knew them
immediately and could feel their love. They were there to
welcome me home.
Grandpa
Mike, who by now I knew well enough to let carry me through
the tunnel, went back to Heaven from his earthly life in 1977,
way before I was ever born. But even though I didn't know
him on Earth, I knew I had known him forever. We went quickly
through the tunnel, as if we were propelled by the light.
The light was as bright as a million suns but it didn't hurt
my eyes. Elizabeth was still with us and I could feel her
wings around us. I knew I was going home again. Not my earthly
home with Mommy and Jason and my baby sister, Mikenna, but
my Heavenly home where I had lived before I came to earth.
As
we actually entered the light, it's warmth and love embraced
me as a child who had returned from a long journey. I instantly
knew God was pleased with what I had done on Earth. My purpose
had been fulfilled. The light enveloping me was the heart
and soul and being of the Lord God, the Highest. I was being
cradled in unconditional love in its purest form. I knew immediately
that His light shines for, and welcomes, all who love Him.
His light is the center, the heartbeat of all life.
At
that moment, I knew my purpose in the 8 years, 1 month and
2 days that I had been a human being on earth was to teach
the people in my life about God's unconditional love. I did
that by simply loving them for who they were, not for what
they gave me. And they loved me back, just because I was me.
God told me he was proud of my work.
I
asked God about Mommy and Jason, my dad, Shaun, Meme and Papa,
grandma Kris, Anita and Jim Peters, and of course, my baby
sister, Mikenna and all the other friends and family members
who loved me on earth. There were so many of them!
I was surprised when He told me there would be many people
who would come to the visitation and funeral, and I would
know how many lives I had changed when I saw it for myself.
I hadn't thought about attending my wake and my funeral, but
I hadn't really thought much about the fact that I had left
my earthly life behind. It was like I had simply stepped into
a different room. I told God I knew how much they would all
miss me. I was worried that they were so sad, but God told
me they would be okay and he had purposely picked my family
on earth because they were strong and wise. He said that because
of what I had taught them, many would change their paths and
also be able to fulfill meaningful purposes. He said Mommy
and Daddy and everyone else I loved would be here with me
again someday.
I
had forgotten how many souls were already in Heaven that I
had loved so much before my journey to earth. I had lived
here for a long time before He sent me to earth as Alexis
Knapton. After Mommy married Jason, and Mikenna was born,
I wanted my name to be the same as theirs. Mommy said that
since my real dad was Shaun, I had to keep his name because
he loved me a lot and it would hurt him if I changed my name.
She said that she and Jason would give Mikenna my middle name,
Nicole, so we would be able to share a name. I liked that
idea because I didn't know anybody could love another person
as much as I loved Mikenna until she was born. She was born
very sick, and they took me to the hospital so I could see
her and love her. I helped her get well with my love.
Love
is a good healer, and after almost two weeks, she was home
and very healthy. We played together a lot. I knew how to
feed her, change her and help with her bath, and even though
I could hold her, Mommy still didn't let me carry her around
because I wasn't big enough yet. I was pretty strong, but
Mommy was afraid I might accidentally trip or something…
you know how mommies are sometimes!
I
was pretty small for my age, I guess, because all the other
kids in my class and at gymnastics were way bigger than I
was. I was, however, pretty opinionated for an 8 year old,
and I used the name Alexis Peters whenever
I wanted to… even if it wasn't my real name. It was my
real name to me.
We were a family and I wanted to have the same last name as
the rest of them, so that's what I used whenever I could get
away with it. That didn't mean I didn't love my dad, or my
Meme Pam or Papa Jack. It just meant I wanted to have the
same name as my family that I lived with. So, Alexis Peters
it was.
My
earthly mom, Kelly, was still in high school when God sent
me to be her child. My grandma Kris seemed to take it all
in stride. She never got upset about it, and stuck by my mom
all the way. She was glad mommy was going to have me, and
so was mommy. The only thing Grandma Kris said was that Mommy
and Shaun had to take the responsibilities that went along
with being a parent. They had to pay for the diapers and formula
and baby food. And, they had to finish school. Mommy was a
Senior when I was born, and her high school had child care,
so mommy would go off to school with me, her books, and the
diaper bag. Since Kelly was my mom and Kris was my grandma,
that meant I would be connected to them, and be a part of
them, for all eternity.
Sometimes
it was a little confusing figuring out who, exactly, was in
charge at Grandma's house. Mommy and Grandma Kris were more
like sisters with a big age difference than mother and daughter.
They took turns being the parent with each other, but they
were both really good at taking care of me. Grandma Kris would
rock me and sing to me. She would make up songs just to make
me smile. And I'm glad God picked Kelly to be my mom on earth.
I knew her before I was born, and I always loved her. I had
a really great life right from the start.
The
human spirit is something that is always alive. Eternal means
forever. No beginning and no end. In Heaven time doesn't exist
the same way it does on Earth, and everyone on Earth has been
here before. A very long lifetime, as you know it on earth,
is only the blink of an eye in eternity. There are no clocks
here. There is no sickness, no pain, no age, and nothing bad.
There are also no bodies as we know them on Earth, so we never
get old. We only become aware of age when we are born into
a body on Earth. Here we continue to grow, and learn from
many sources of knowledge. We communicate through thoughts
and touch. Yes, spirits touch one another.
On
Earth, we celebrated birthdays with parties and cakes and
presents. In Heaven, we are in spirit form so we can ride
with the wind and travel at the speed of thought. We continue
to celebrate eternal life. We remember all the things about
our earthly lives that we loved. Especially the birthday parties,
and holidays like Christmas. But in Heaven we don't need material
things.
One
of the gifts God gives each of us is the chance to experience
life on Earth as a human being. He chooses the time and place,
assigns us a purpose based on our special talents, and sends
us to Earth to experience life in a materialized state. That
is so our souls can experience living in a body and all that
goes with it. During life on earth, He expects us to make
some sort of significant contribution to mankind. Hopefully,
a good one.
As
the months and years go by, we meet and travel with people
that come into our lives. Most were sent by God to be our
friends or associates. Some come for a while, others stay
forever, even after we leave Earth.
Each one brings something for us to learn from our association.
Not all of the people who come in and out of our lives on
Earth are good souls, though, and not all are sent from God.
We have choices that we must make about whether we do good
deeds or bad. We have choices on how we live our lives and
what we make of our time on earth, and there are lots of temptations
along the way that aren't really good for us, so we have to
learn the difference between what's right and wrong. We find
the answers inside our souls.
We
learn on earth how much we like chocolate and ice cream, and
that a home-cooked meal is one of the most special gifts you
can give sometimes. We learn that having a job and assuming
responsibility builds character. We learn what pain feels
like and how to get through it. Most of life is wonderful
and exciting. Our souls become stronger as we overcome difficulties.
We learn through trial and error how important our choices
are, and that they can change not only our own lives, but
the lives of those around us.
We learn to be humble. We learn to be proud. We learn about
fighting evil and standing up for what we believe is right.
We learn to turn away from fear and evil because faith and
hope can light the way in the darkness. Our tears teach us
that sadness, like love, comes from the heart, and our own
tears teach us how to help others. We learn that Love, in
time, can heal even the deepest wounds.
Life
on earth is a time for us to learn all the things we don't
learn in Heaven. That's why it is so important for us not
to waste life on earth. That's why I want you to know that
whatever life gives you, it is worth the struggle to experience
it. In the end, only the happy memories are carried with you
into eternity. And there are usually many happy memories.
What really counts the most is what affect your life had on
those you leave behind, even if you were only there a short
time...
I
know that everybody from my Earth life misses me and is sad
that I have died. I've only left Earth. When God decides it's
time to summon you, you will see me again. Only He can decide
when that time will be. But I will be there to help you through
the tunnel into the light, just like Grandpa Mike helped me.
I'm very much still alive. Nobody ever really dies. There's
no such thing as an end for a soul. You can think about Heaven
in your mind a lot, but until you have experienced it, you
really don't understand. In a blink of an eye my-time, Heaven-time,
you will all be here again with me, but your lives on earth
are just beginning.
Clocks
sometimes have a way of dragging time out to make one day
seem like an eternity, especially when you're grieving. You
need to grieve and feel your pain from my departure, as painful
as that is for you. Death, as you know it on Earth, is something
that is part of your life there. And you must mourn the loss
you feel when someone you love passes away from you. You must
experience the sadness and shed the tears in order to heal
and become stronger. If it helps you to know…we have
no death in heaven. Only perfect life. You will never experience
the loss of a loved one here. Only reunions. My death is only
a temporary physical separation for us. Our souls are still
connected. And sometimes it seems like there's so much bad
stuff down there on earth to sort through, that it's hard
to look at the bright side of what you have. The blessings.
Look for them because they are all around you. You always
have more blessings than hardships.
Some
of you will mourn for me for the rest of your natural lives.
That's not what God has intended for you. Please open your
hearts and allow yourself to mourn freely and feel the sadness.
That will allow the light of God to begin filling the hole
in your heart. The dark clouds will begin to blow away, and
you will start to find the rainbows within you. And you will
be a different person than you were before I died. You will
be changed, and you will see things from a different prospective.
I want you to be happy while you are on earth and remember
all the good times we had. I sure do. If you miss me, all
you have to do is think about me and I'm there with you. I
know you can't see me, but I'm still there. And the best thing
is that I can be with everyone at the same time.
It's
important to share, so make sure you share your time with
others who loved me. That was one of the lessons I learned
with all of you. Everybody shared whatever they had with me.
I already knew about sharing before I came to earth, but I
didn't know about sharing material things or earthly events.
I experienced that during my life there. It's harder for some
people to share than others. I shared my toys most of the
time, and always I shared whatever I was eating with my pets
or my friends. It was nice to share. It gave me a good feeling.
Once
when my grandma Kris and I were swimming at the pool by her
house, another little girl came up to me and said she would
share her water toys with me if I played with her. I would
have played with her whether she had toys or not. We had fun
together until some other kids that I smiled at wanted to
come and play with us too. I said "sure, you can play
with us". The little girl who had shared her water toys
with me didn't want me to play with anyone but her, so she
swam over to me and took her goggles off of me. She said I
couldn't play with her toys if I was going to play with other
kids.
Then she made a face at me. grabbed the inflated raft that
was floating in the pool, and got out of the water. I looked
over at my grandma Kris, who was sitting on the edge of the
pool watching me. She was dangling her feet in the water,
and I looked at her, rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders.
She looked over at the little girl, who was sitting next to
her grandma with a sour look on her face. Grandma Kris smiled
at me, shrugged back, and blew me a kiss. I spent the rest
of the afternoon playing with all those other kids. Without
water toys. We had such a good time. Later she told me she
was proud of me for not giving in to the little girl with
the toys.
To
this day, grandma Kris still can't believe I got her in a
swimming suit that day. She said she thought she would look
bad because she hadn't been in a swimming suit since she had
gained 30 pounds. I told her she looked just as good as anybody
else, and besides…it was what was on the inside that
was important. Unless she had a swimming suit on, she couldn't
get in the water with me. She looked at me, smiled, and said
I was right. So she put on her swimming suit and that was
that. After we got back to her house, she told me thanks.
We had a good day together, and I know she had as much fun
in the water swimming with me and carrying me around on her
back as I had splashing her and getting her hair all wet.
Thanks
for the wonderful funeral. God was right when he said I would
be surprised how many lives I had touched. At the funeral,
my teacher talked about a typical day in my life. I was there,
by the way. Remember?
I'm always where people are thinking of me. I heard every
word of what she said and I knew what every person there was
feeling. I kissed every tear that fell from your hearts, and
they turned into glittering stars as I blew them softly into
the Heavens. They will stay there forever as a token of my
love for you. Tell my teacher I said thank you for making
all of you feel better. Now that she has told you about one
of my typical days in school, I'd like to tell you about one
of my typical days in Heaven.
I
spent this morning jumping from cloud to cloud with some of
my other friends here…just like I did on my trampoline
at my house in Parkville, Missouri. Not to take away from
the trampoline, but this is pretty cool. I can jump as high
as I want to and don't have to worry about falling off and
hurting myself. If I fall, another cloud catches me. Without
my body, there is no weight so I can walk on clouds and float
through the blue skies, or travel the brightly colored galaxy
searching for more knowledge. It's way better than books,
and it's part of my continuing education to explore.
The
colors here are indescribable. There aren't enough crayons
or watercolors in the entire world to portray the variety
of breathtaking colors and sights that God created up here.
Every day is an adventure because the Universe is endless
and timeless.
It's
quiet when I want it to be quiet. I can lay down on a cloud
or lay in Heaven's grass and look at the stars. When I need
to feel more peace or want to rest, I go into God's Light
where he holds me in his arms. There are plenty of things
to do and countless good souls to play with or talk to. We
communicate through telepathy, so we know our soul mates,
or kindred spirits, right away. I still go to school, but
it's different here. I am not 8 years old here, but I can
be whenever I want to be.
I
became ageless the minute I went through the tunnel and walked
into God's light again, so I am all ages or any age at the
same time. I can explore the Universe, or stay in Heaven for
the day. I have many teachers because we never want to stop
learning and growing. Jesus is my favorite teacher and being
with him is very special. He has many stories. He's there
whenever I want him to be. Since everyone in the spiritual
world is summoned by thought, all I have to do is think "Jesus"
and he's right there with me. You might remember that, because
whenever you think "Jesus", he's right there with
you, too.
The
mind I had on Earth is only a part of the expanded one I have
here. I don't need a brain or a body to make it work. The
mind is part of the soul, or spirit. It helps you make choices.
It stores your knowledge and your memories. There is a difference
between a brain and a mind. The brain is what keeps the body
functioning on earth. The mind always continues to live and
is part of the soul. I still have a heart, but it's also different
than the one I had on earth. It is full of light.
You
can feel the heart of your soul in the center of your body.
It's not the same heart that keeps the blood pumping to your
other organs. The heart of your soul is what makes you good
or bad, and it also keeps on living forever. The heart of
your soul is the center of your existence, just like the light
of the Lord is the center of the Universe. When the soul is
born into a body, it becomes the life force, but when a human
body dies. the soul must be free again. Like a butterfly leaving
behind a cocoon.
Even
though human beings come in so many different colors, once
you are free from the body, souls have no difference in color
or language. None at all. It's what's inside us that makes
us unique and separate souls, not what's on the outside. That's
totally opposite of what most people on earth seem to think.
I wonder why so many of the people on earth don't seem to
know that? The different colors and cultures and lifestyles
are the things that make human beings so beautiful. People
could learn so much from each other if more of them only understood
that one thing.
The
music here in Heaven is really cool. There are no CDs or radios
because you don't need them. We hear the music whenever we
want to…and without headsets. Like everything else, all
you have to do is think about music and you have it. Only
you are in the music instead of just listening to it. You
actually have become part of it, or it has become part of
you. You are musical notes dancing and jumping around, making
beautiful music in Heaven.
There
are no words to describe the wonderful sounds we make, and
I think it is different to every soul here because we each
hear our own music. We can share it with anyone who wants
to listen to our music. There are many souls up here who make
beautiful music I like to listen to, some of which were famous
for their musical talents during their lives on earth.
Angels.
Well, I probably don't need to tell you that there are Angels
everywhere. They don't have wings that you can easily see,
but you can always tell who they are. They are very tall compared
to the rest of us. In this realm, all of us wear long, flowing
robes, so there are no real fashion statements except we can
choose our favorite colors and fragrances by creating them
ourselves at will. We invent new colors for our robes that
are very beautiful. Not just the usual things you are used
to seeing.
The
Angels are very gentle and they all have the same kind of
light on their faces from the soft glow around their hair.
We never see their feet because they don't show coming out
from under their robes. They sort of just float above the
ground. They all have special jobs and many of them are assigned
to watch over people on earth. They are usually in a hurry
when they swish past you, but they always take time to say
hello and smile. They all know my name. When one goes past,
there is a sound that reminds me of the wind chimes on Grandma's
front porch, and they leave behind a fragrance like marigold,
roses, an ocean breeze or sweet wild flowers that grow in
a great meadow.
The
scenery in Heaven is more beautiful than the most beautiful
places on Earth. We have mountains and streams, lush magical
forests filled with beautiful creatures and breathtaking waterfalls,
and beautiful secluded white beaches with rolling waves. There
are prairies and meadows where horses who have wings and can
speak run with the wind. If we feel like it, we summon them
and we can ride off into the sunset or anywhere else we wish
them to take us. I've already had many adventures that way.
We
spend a lot of time meditating. Meditating is good. It is
a way to gain more knowledge. Thoughts are sent to us through
God's Spirit, the Holy spirit that continues to fill us with
peace, love, spiritual growth and wisdom. Rainbows appear
at will. The gardens are spectacular. Many of the people who
live in Heaven like to tend the gardens here. They continually
plant new and unique varieties of blooming flowers that can
only grow in Heaven. The seeds for those flowers come from
the love the heavenly gardeners gave and received during life
on earth, and they take permanent root in the rich soil of
the gardens of Heaven. They continue to grow and blossom with
the warmth that comes from God's Light, and the nourishment
of the gentle rain of His daily Blessings.
We
all have our own houses here. Our homes are decorated with
memories and accomplishments, so each soul's home is different.
No two are alike. There are many rooms in some, and one or
two rooms in others. It all depends on how many special memories
you created when you lived on Earth. Some rooms are shared
by husbands and wives, sisters and brothers, and other family
members or friends. It is fun to visit the homes of our kindred
spirits to see what their lives were like when they were on
Earth, and what memories and lessons they took with them when
they left their earthly existence. It is another part of our
own growth. Learning from others.
There
is nothing bad in Heaven. No evil spirits are allowed here.
Once you have entered the Kingdom of Heaven, life is…well…very
Heavenly. The evil souls go to a place where it is dark. There
is no light there. There is no sound there. There is no beauty.
It is the absence of all light, and the absence of all love.
There is no peace, no rest, no compassion, no comfort. Without
the ability to open the heart of your soul and give the same
kind of love that you receive from God, it is impossible to
receive love. It is impossible to come into that light if
you don't believe in its existence in your heart. We don't
talk much about the dark place here because it makes us sad
to think about the lost souls who have chosen to live there.
Every soul is basically good because we are created by the
awesome Love of God, but every soul has a mind and a heart,
and every soul has a choice.
God
gave me a project to do today. He asked if I'd like to paint
a sunrise for my family and friends back on Earth. He said
it would be a wonderful way for them to start their day. I
thought that was a pretty big project, but I jumped at the
chance. I wanted to make it very special, so I started a long
time before it would be light, Earth time, and created a lot
of different colors that could probably never be duplicated
again. Then I began painting.
There
was a special brush that made the clouds so they will change
as the wind blows them into different formations all over
the world. There was another special brush for each color
I created as I layered them carefully. They will change colors
continuously for many hours throughout the Earth when they
are illuminated by the sun as it comes up on the horizon.
He said my sunrise will be seen by everyone on Earth who chooses
to watch it, and as the planet rotates over a period of 24
hours, it will be seen even in the most remote places. God
said that since I like to paint, he will let me create a sunset
soon. I really like that I can still make the world a more
beautiful place. Even from up here.
